Understanding Your Child's Inner Narrative: How to Identify the Stories They Tell Themselves

Weekly One | What's the Story | Email #6

Each Sunday, I send the Daring Dyslexic community an email with actionable strategies to boost your child's confidence, mindset, and self-esteem. Join my supportive community and receive practical, step-by-step tools delivered straight to your inbox – because your child's success story starts with just one small action each week.

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Today, I'm sharing a simple practice that can help dial down feelings of shame your child may be feeling because they find learning hard, aren't at the same level as their peers, feel misunderstood or sidelined, or think and sometimes behave differently to the majority. 

Awareness is often the key to overcoming thoughts and behaviours that negatively impact us. Once we shine the spotlight of self-awareness on the problem, it becomes much easier to shift. Our children, who are still developing that sense of self-awareness, need our help and guidance. 

I learned this technique many years ago from the incredible Brene Brown. I have used it in all areas of my life to help uncover the unspoken thoughts and feelings that may impact a relationship or situation. 

What's the Story

You'll know the moment when your child is trying to work through a problem, maybe with their homework and their facial expression changes, their shoulders slump, or their breathing changes. This is the time to move away from saying things like "it's ok", "I know it's hard", or "you can do it" and instead ask. 

What story are you telling yourself right now?

This accomplishes several things:

1. It calls it out for what it is: a story, and most often, a limiting story.
   

2. It allows them to say it out loud and release it.
   

3. As their grown-up, it gives us an accurate indication of what's happening for them internally; the story may not be what you expect.
   

4. Lastly, it's an opportunity to validate their feelings and help them question the story's facts. 
   

I encourage you to start peppering this question into these challenging moments, whether with school work, in social settings when something goes awry, or when they're beginning to shut down. 

I hope this is helpful. As always, please let me know how you go.

You've got this! 

B 💜